I am susceptible. i will admit it. And when I am already anxious about a trip or appointment then someone talks about a trigger oh man.. thats it!
I am just running out of there or changing the channel or whatever to get back in control.
I men it can be totally innocent or a great thing for someone else and I am sitting there feeling like I am just gonna die! and then there are the times you feel absolutely stupid about a trigger. Oh I just hate those times. And there is no should or outta, its just panic, plain and simple..
breathe in.. 1234.. and out ...12345678
and in 1234 and out 12345678
focus, your ok, your safe, your ok..
you feel like there is someone ripping you apart but in your mind you think 1234... 12345678...
breathe.. breathe.. i am ok.. I am ok.. I AM F*&%ING OK! and you really want to think and be just that.
and your family is tiptoeing and you have no friends left because if they say the wrong thing thats it you just want to run away.
and you just want to do what they say and be normal and fine..
and int he mean time you breathe in 1234... out 12345678
Sounds to me you are going through a classic case of people feeling they are walking on egg shells.
ReplyDeleteYou are perfect just the way you are. You have friends some maybe in disguise of strangers.
There is a saying...Treat your family like friends and treat your friends like your family.
Is there a person you don't feel anxious, anger, frustrated when you are around the person? that person can be in the neighborhood, or miles away. If no, I am here. make me your first baby step and expend from...
But most of all, I sense you are a perfectionist, and although you can forgive everyone else, you are hard on yourself. Let be, and forgive you.
I love you just the way you are, no more and no less no matter what. Write soon. xo